When Your Girlfriend Is DepressedThere are just a few things you should probably know. Mind has some great information. If we do something wrong, criticise our actions, not us as a person. Language is powerful in itself, but a depressed person will read into what you say, take it deeply personally, and analyse it for hours until it confirms every bad thing we think about ourselves. Be careful. Comfort us.
Also JessF i totally understand what you mean by filling that void with a relationship. To be honest, i wasn't and im still not looking for anything mainly because i wanted to focus on myself.
I really don't want to ruin it or be the reason it doesn't work out. One of the reasons im too scared to date him is because i feel he is too good for me or that he can do better and i start thinking of all the girls who are better than me. This really gets me down and i guess i just run away from situations like this because i don't feel im good enough.
This also temporarily puts a hold onto your depression, because you're on top of the moon, but it hasn't stopped it, it's still there unfortunately, but at this stage you can handle it, so you feel great. Like all relationships there are disagreements, he has secrets just as you do, we all have them even when a marriage lasts for 20 years, in which case maybe these secrets get bigger, that's our choice and whether or not we want to share them with our partner purely depends on how we feel they will take it, and if it's going to upset them or annoy them then they stay a secret.
Approach this new love as you would with open arms, and if for any reason you have a bad day, then at first just explain to him 'that you have these days occasionally', so no at the moment let your depression be annoyed because you're having a good time.
L Geoff. Welcome to Beyond Blue and it's really good that you've reached out to this site and then posted. And already you've met two of our wonderful forum members all fellow sufferers of this awful illness and Jess and Mbuna have posted you with great responses and lots of really helpful advice and suggestions.
As with Mbuna saying that you've had this severe depression for some 4 years now. Are you battling it on your own I so hope not or have you already had a number of GP and psych appointments?
So the person you're dating has admitted they have depression. Or you Don't say you're 'depressed' when you're feeling sad. Never call us. Dating Someone With Depression: How His Illness Made Me Sick, Too Thomas (not his real name) and I met five years ago, when I was a high school had little to do with Thomas' predicament — Thomas was not suicidal. We Asked Young People What It's Like to Date While Anxious and and out of mental hospitals; she had breakdowns, would attempt suicide.
If so, are you continuing having those and do you feel they are helping? I won't touch much on the relationship side of things as you've already received great advice about that. But for me if you're still having suicidal thoughts, this is what's jumped out at me. Preeenaaa, we've got to get these addressed.
Dating someone with depression can be hard. It's painful to watch This is absolutely necessary and appropriate for a while. But when our. Do you want to know what it's like to date a suicidal woman? Only those people can save themselves, but when we love them enough, we try. Dating while depressed: wouldnt that make a great game show? I am worried that suicide is still on your mind, and that in this state you may.
You haven't mentioned much else in your above post, but I so hope that you do get back to us with just a little more information. But without further information, I am going to go out on a limb here and say this:. Preeenaaa, hey and also you've now reached out to Beyond Blue as well and there have been multiple people on here who have read your post - and there's a few of us who have already started to build a connection with you.
However, disregard "us" for a moment and go back to the first group of people What I'm trying to get you to think about here, is that if these awful thoughts that enter your mind about wanting to end your life continue, just look at your list and see how many people will be horrendously affected if something shockingly tragic were to happen to you.
Lives would be ruined forever - Preeenaaa, please please, this is not an option. I hope you've got professional assistance out there for you, but please know that you've now reached into the Beyond Blue community and once someone does that, they are instantly accepted into what I believe is just the most wonderful, caring and supportive environment going around.
It is brilliant.
Dating while suicidal
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Cancel The title field is required! Hey everyone! JessF Valued Contributor.
Preeenaaa, You have mentioned your depression but you did not mention if you were getting treatment. Kind Regards Mbuna. Hi Mbuna please take yourself off to a gp and psych and get on some medication to help with those suicidal thoughts.
Yes just tell him plese don't cover up the depression its not fair on both of you. Take care and get the help asap. Hi Preenaaa Welcome to Beyond Blue and it's really good that you've reached out to this site and then posted.
But without further information, I am going to go out on a limb here and say this: "Preeenaaa, I have no idea at what stage you are in your life, but I'm assuming that you have family and that you have friends and perhaps even work colleagues. Stay with us Preeenaaa". Kind regards Neil.
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Please try later or contact us. Your session is about to expire. So before we go on with you thinking I am callously talking about some girl who took her life in my bed, you are wrong.
I have just started dating an old friend who I have had limited Suicidal thoughts are generally at a time when a person has given up on. So I've been dating someone for a couple days and I'm just not feeling it. . I only once considered suicide while I had her in my life, about a. I want to talk frankly about how to support people who are suicidal, from the The police are not often allies or friends, and while yes, they may.
With the help of some charcoal, she survived that night. Most people pick option two as it seems the lesser of two evils. Keep in mind, for the boyfriend, this just means he will be driving hours to an institution to visit daily the girl who just wanted to mentally ruin him.
Let that sink in for a moment. There is a point when you snap and realize YOU are a part of the circle and it will never end unless you end it. It is self perpetuating. The more you give attention to the act, the more they will perpetrate it.
We Asked Young People What It's Like to Date While Anxious and Depressed
It will only end when they no longer have an audience. That is why I snapped and walked away. I loved her, but she was not only killing herself but slowly killing me too. But when the other person is heavy in the head or sad in the soul, you are scared to end it because you convince yourself that you WILL be the fatal blow that finally pushes them over the edge even though they have clearly lived over the edge years before you and will continue to years after.
If you love them, you stay. You stand on the edge with them. Yes, she was the victim of her own sadness, and I was there for that.
But I was a victim of it too, and it took me a long time to understand that. We were both brought to the edge by that love.
Another time we were driving over the Tobin Bridge in Charlestown with her. Traffic slowed and then stopped. Immediately she opens my door and begins running to leap off the bridge.
I slam my car into park and Dukes of Hazzard over the hood. The car behind me is honking, not because we need to move but because they seem to be aware that I am chasing after a girl who is going to jump off a bridge and they somehow think honking is not making the situation even more terrifying. Keep in mind, all anyone saw at that point was a dude tackle a girl into the ground on the side of a bridge. So yes, cops came, and they treated me like a woman beater.
I was relieved she backed me out of the corner, but I was also shocked at how much she undermined the severity of the moment.
Why would I stay? This is where things get more complex. You feel like that is abandoning someone. You feel like that is cowardly shit, ducking out when someone needs you most. For as long as you react and get scared and baby them, they will continue because they feed off your reaction.
They know when they freak out you will run to them, so like a baby, they hypothetically never stop crying to ensure the parents never leave the room at night. So as much as I believed I was saving her, the reality in hindsight is, I was giving her the fuel and attention she needed to keep that shit up. You ever walk in on your significant other slicing their own wrists?
It cripples your own confidence so you begin to think you are driving this action. Now THAT is an abusive relationship. Yes, death tends to surround me. It was only when realizing that very fact that I finally walked away.
She would scream at me:.
Dating Someone With Depression: How His Illness Made Me Sick, Too
I literally meant it. I wished her good luck. Her life seemed like some self-imposed agony. So you ready for the big twist ending that all people who have been in this same scenario already know?
She is still alive. Thankfully for all involved, she stopped trying to take her life once she realized no one was actually paying attention or would be there to catch her or stop her anymore. And to think, I may have been the enabler the whole time. Sort of blows the mind. And one final note. Before you condemn me, the girl was fine.